An unidentifiable source recently contacted me for information regarding video games in exchange for 100 barrels of dark rum. It was an offer I couldn't refuse.
Agent Rum Moore: Rum please...
Bartender: Ah Mr Moore, would that be shaken or stirred?
Agent Rum Moore: Stirred.
Bartender: Are you sure sir?
Agent Rum Moore: Just give me the damn thing!
An unidentifiable source recently contacted me for information (classified) regarding video games. In exchange I was promised 100 barrels of dark rum. Normally I don’t associate myself with unknown sources but due to my weakness for rum, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.
So I packed my bags, and set off around the world on a mission for that particular information (which I cannot disclose at this time).
My first stop was Japan. Not because it’s the capital of video games but because I needed an excuse to indulge in some sushi. I stayed in one of Tokyo’s most elaborate hotels, The Samurai Hammer.
As I lay in the presidential suite, I couldn’t keep my hands of my sweetheart. Those perfect curves, that elegant neck, enough to make any man crazy with passion. As I set my lips on the rim of…
Bartender: You sir are a dirty, dirty man.
Agent Rum Moore: I'm talking about my glass of rum you idiot!
Anyway, as I sipped on the rum, there was a knock on the door. Room service had brought me some sushi. This would have been good news if I hadn’t already been to the nearby sushi bar earlier that night. So I just turned it away and asked for more rum.
As it wasn’t very late, I decided to power on the PlayStation 4. There was surprisingly little choice of games to play. Most were Japanese exclusives not available in other parts of the world. One that caught my eye had a picture of a blue fish being gutted with a knife.
I couldn’t read the title as it was in Japanese but it didn’t matter, I wanted to check it out anyway.
I loaded it up.
The game was essentially like “Whack-A-Mole” but instead of hitting moles with a hammer, you sliced fish with a knife as they jumped out of the water. And the fish sang too. It felt like a sad song, but with a happy expression.
I actually had a nightmare that night where I sat at an exclusive lounge and the waiter kept bringing me rum, with sliced fish and ice while singing the exact song the fish were singing in the game.
The next morning I met a man who liked my suit, and another who wanted burn my suit. Actually the latter wasn’t a man, it was a a fire breathing robot used to promote Wasabi covered sushi ice cream (or something).
I passed a huge arena on the way to the local store to pick up a couple of bottles of rum. There was a loud buzzing and singing coming from the arena. The curiosity got to me so I took a look inside. What I found was quite extraordinary. There were literally thousands of specially modified Daytona USA arcade machines all hooked up to one another. Thousands of people were racing against each other at once! And a crowed of thousands of spectators were cheering and booing. It was deafening but strangely exciting.
Agent Rum Moore: Bartender I asked for rum, where's my rum?
Agent Rum Moore: Why is there fish... oh Gosh no!
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
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